I often get the question --teens & play therapy, how does that work? Parents look around my office and sometimes think it looks too elementary and their teen won't play in the sand tray. I was surprised too when my first 15 year old client started digging in the sand. I no longer am. There is something about that sand feeling on our fingers we all love. For those who don't go there, I put on my creative hat and figure out what it is they like. Just this morning I was hiking on a trail, picking up sticks and looking for birds with a teen client. My husband asks, "and that's therapy?" I answer with a big YES! Meeting the child where he is, exploring the things he likes to do-that is where I find the "true" self. In order for growth to occur, we must go through the process of "peeling the onion" to find the authentic self. Creative therapies help do this. For those of you who have peeled a real onion, you know there are many layers on top of the core. We are like that too. All of our experiences, our hurts and joys build on each other. When I work with a teen who is struggling with anxiety or depression, even lack of self confidence- I am looking for the layer that began those feelings. I want it exposed and dealt with so it can be peeled off and thrown into the compost. See, we oftentimes hold onto our hurts. This reminds me of an onion that has a bad , mushy spot in it. If the spot isn't cut off, eventually the whole onion becomes rotten and unusable. I look at my clients this way and it helps me better understand the problem and solution. My goal is to help that onion become a part of some sort of fabulous dish by peeling off the rotten parts. Kinda sounds gross, but hey you get the point. Play therapy helps this process because kids don't even know it is happening, even teens aren't clued in. Playing dominos with a teen isn't just about playing dominos. Remember this when you play games with your kids. Think of the onion! Your goal is to get down to the core, the "true" self. Once there-- work can begin, hearts can be changed, tasty dishes can be made. Oh the feeling I get when I witness the onion being peeled in therapy! I will never look at one the same again.
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Stacey Lewis, MAFamily Therapist. Wife. Archives
August 2019
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